First, I would like to share my favorite Oscar moment from this year’s show.

It’s quite incredible how loudly Kate Winslet’s dad can whistle, isn’t it? Also, don’t you love how a free mentoring session from a past winner now comes with any acting nomination? Yet another 2-for-1 deal thanks to the recession!

Anyway, today I would like to tell you a story about how future Oscar hopefuls can really make their start anywhere. Take, for example, Amy Adams, nominated this year for Doubt (which I have not yet seen). As you might be able to guess, I feel a special kind of love for people named Amy. Plus, she was quite delightful in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. But did you know what she did before she became this two-time Academy Award nominated actress? That’s right… a horrible little straight-to-video release, which brings us to…

Horrible Movie of the Day:

Cruel Intentions 2

You might ask me why I was watching this, and you would have a good point. If it hadn’t been just showing on TV while a couple friends and I were lounging about that weekend, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have bothered. But it was showing, and we lost track of the remote, so we just let it keep going.

Ms Adams plays Merteuil in this uninspired adaptation of the Pierre Choderlos de Laclos novel Les Liaisons dangereuses. Apparently, our society, or at least the movie industry, finds the topic of evil people manipulating young innocents (as well as each other) so interesting, that there have been at least 3 recent incarnations. There was Dangerous Liaisons (1988), starring Glenn Close and John Malkovich. Then came Miloš Forman’s Valmont in 1989, which starred Colin Firth and Annette Bening. Finally, in 1999, we were granted the venerable predecessor to the film starring Ms Adams. I will openly admit that I enjoyed Cruel Intentions’s tongue-in-cheek presentation of the tale as one involving high schoolers in New York. That was a pretty film where the chemistry between the three lead actors worked, and the writers had been thoughtful enough to include a much-beloved Colin Powell joke. Its follow up, however, was a sad disaster.

A supposed prequel to the 1999 original, Cruel Intentions 2 was shot as a TV series, until it was canceled before it even aired its pilot. I’m not sure what that says about what would have been the series, but the repackaged “movie” seemed to replace all of the charm of the original with gratuitous nudity. The end product was horrible, but Amy Adams does look quite a bit like Sarah Michelle Gellar. I’ll bet Ms. Adams is glad that the show didn’t turn out to be a massive 10-season success. Actually, I’m glad too.

By the way… There is actually a third film out there. I think I’m just going to pass on that one.

That photo is really only up there because I wanted to make two comments. Firstly, fully-grown adult women think that it’s cool to dress like it’s time for Senior Prom! Look at dear Sarah Jessica up there. Cute, but who else could wear that and look semi-normal? And secondly, isn’t Marisa Tomei’s gown lovely? Looking at it just brings me inner peace.

Now onto the real work. Guess what I saw today!

Cute Movie of the Day:

• The Last Man

Kung Fu Panda

Life Is Hot in Cracktown hd

Don’t you love how Jack Black actually looks vaguely like the panda? A very cute, albeit slightly empty movie. They kindly reminded us that you don’t need a magical potion or a special ingredient to be great, which just brings me back to all those inspirational posters that hung in my fourth grade classroom. “Believe in yourself and you will succeed,” they would say in big, bright letters. This movie was basically like that. A happy little pep talk for the slightly lazy amongst us, Kung Fu Panda Harm’s Way divx

download The Accidental Husband My Bloody Valentine

• <>Der rote Baron rip

Louis C.K.: Chewed Up movie download calms our fears by saying, “Don’t worry. As long as you’re sufficiently motivated by food, anything is possible!”

Now, I don’t want to mislead anyone into believing that I need my movies to have meaning, because I really don’t. I like mindless entertainment, especially when it involves cute animals. I did have a few misgivings about this film, however. I wish that more animals could have had awesome names like Master Oogway (meaning “turtle” in Mandarin). I also had hoped that Angelina’s… I mean Tigress’ complex about her lack of fatherly love as a kid could have been resolved, but I guess they didn’t have time to do the full psychoanalysis within their 92 minute time frame.

All-in-all, a fun little movie, and not really much less satisfying than, say, Milk

• few good men

. Except I could actually connect with the main character here, since I too can only be bothered to climb to high places in search of cookies.

No surprises tonight. As my friend said, rather succinctly:

Him: Slumdogs abound. And they drink Milk
Me: apparently
Him: It was a Dark Knight at the Oscars indeed

Bad puns aside… Yay for Kate Winslet. She now no longer faces the risk of being Oscar’s biggest loser.

But first, help me decide if I really want to buy one of those x10 systems.

Did I ever tell you about my soft spot for Paul Rudd? He just looks so cute and pathetic, like a sad little puppy. It must have been something about his memorable performance in Clueless. Anyway, today, I have two movies to review that feature the now more mature Mr. Rudd:

Movie #1:

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Movie #2:

Knocked Up

Considering how I found Superbad to be, well… super bad, I was surprised by the level of entertainment I extracted from these two films. Honestly, I’m not sure there’s much to be said about these two movies. Both are these coming of age stories about adult men who act like children, and at first, both main characters are horribly, horribly annoying. But slowly, they become more human and really start to grow on you. And of course, the sappy sweet endings that make these non-traditional romantic comedies great.

However, I would like to ask again, why in Hollywood, is it acceptable for super hot women to be dating unkempt, non-self-sufficient, semi-loser guys? I don’t want to turn uber-feminist here, but really? Aside from obvious examples of hideous rock stars with beautiful women, do these things happen? And that’s not even a good example since rock stars are supposedly successful in some way, where as these guys are really not. Or maybe this is the male equivalent of the Bridget Jones dream: to be a complete mess of a person, and yet some attractive, successful member of your preferred gender will still fall in love with you, just the way you are. I guess we all need some of that delusion/hope.

I’ve enjoyed my long weekend, and thus, I’m invariably very far behind on this blog. In fact, during the last few days, I’ve come home to shower and sleep, and that’s about it. But in the next few days, I swear I will rededicate myself to the very important task at hand: giving the thumbs up or thumbs down to an ever-growing list of recently watched movies. Let’s see if I can remember this weekend’s selection.

Recently Seen Movie #1:

He’s Just Not That Into You

Before I say anything else, I would like to point out that the one singular punchline of this film is dead obvious. “If he acts like he doesn’t give a crap about you, he’s probably just not that into you.” If you need a 2-hour-long movie to teach you this, you might have more pressing problems than figuring out whether the guy from the Mac vs PC commercials likes you. I’m not sure how so many great actors and actresses were tricked into doing this film. I can only assume it was Drew Barrymore’s mad Executive Producer skillz. That said, the wardrobe and makeup department really did a great job of making beautiful women look horrible. Was this the part of the movie that was supposed to be uplifting? I mean, I guess I felt a little better about myself seeing how even Jennifer “Flawless-at-40″ Aniston could have makeup settling into her fine lines, but it didn’t really make up for the generally poor storyline.

As my dear friend, who kindly dragged me into the theater with her so eloquently stated, “It’s like the exact opposite of Love Actually.” No sir, despite appearances from their marketing efforts, this was definitely not a Richard Curtis film. There were enough happy endings, I suppose, but the journey from beginning to end was most painful. Nearly every single character was a complete caricature, and almost every one of them annoying. Somehow, slightly conceited Mac Guy, who I never really believed was a real actor, turned out to be the only believable character. This is possibly because the guy can’t actually act, and was thus playing himself, a real, 3-D human being. Or, this could be because I’ve met more than my fair share of smart-alecks in my lifetime. Either way, he was the saving grace of the movie in my eyes. Truthfully, if I could have done this over again, I would have chosen to watch this when it came out on DVD. Not much of a point in wasting my travel time + beautiful, liquid cash on this subpar film. And I love Rom Coms, so that’s saying something!

You want more? On the to-review list:
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Knocked Up
Transporter 2
Cruel Intentions 2

Is there such a thing as too much food and movies? During the past two days, I have over-indulged in meat, seafood, and desserts, as well as movies, both good and bad. Look at this lovely list:

• Burn After Reading
• Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
• Elizabeth: The Golden Age

I had seen the sequel to the now semi-classic 1998 film Elizabeth previously, of course. But I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch the beautiful costume drama yet again, especially since my female friends were so enthralled with the image of an unshaven Clive Owen that we were really left with few options. Reviews for Burn After Reading will come shortly, but for now, sleep beckons.

Another Depressing Movie:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

My server was being uncooperative for a bit there, so I was unable to post about my “interesting” experiences with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Actually, I don’t know if I need to say much, because I think Jon Stewart already said everything for me. Check it out: