So, I live in this apartment with these old style radiators that are super active. I mean, in the middle of the night, I’ll wake up in a sweat even as I leave my windows open. And just earlier today, as I was trying to study for my Macro exam, I noticed myself feeling very dizzy as I continuously chugged bottle after bottle of Poland Spring. I’m starting to think that it’s going to be a close call. What’s going to kill me first? Exams, or my radiator?

And now, a few words of wisdom from Macroeconomics… He’s got a little bit to share on every topic, it seems!

Intellectual property rights:

If you cannot sell your ideas, no one invents except wackos.

Graduate school admissions:

The quadratic formula is the most useless formula in the world, but you need to know this to get into graduate school.

Saddlepaths, horses, and interesting relationships with your spouse:

[Professor recommends rolling a marble down the middle of a saddle to understand the concept of a saddlepath.]

Even if you don’t have a horse, you can try this with a cat, or maybe your husband.

Family planning in Africa:

Usually family planning programs work by sending a group of nuns, who are experts at not having children, and letting them distribute family planning materials.

The value of children:

The number of children per family seems to decrease with income. We like to think that parents love their children. So why are children inferior goods?

Europeans:

These Europeans met in Lisbon some time ago and proclaimed that Europe would be the most technologically advanced society in the world by 2010. I think they just said this to show that they have a sense of humor.

And finally, in the tradition of John Stuart Mills 150 years before him, our professor ponders whether it’s true that “It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.”

Some people might say that being educated allows you to enjoy things that stupid people can’t enjoy, like… What do you call this thing when fat people scream? Oh! Opera!