I never noticed it until earlier tonight, but as I was reading Jen Mo’s journal, I suddenly realised that I have some serious issues when it comes to romance and relationships. There is a definite pattern to my generally unhealthy behavior.

It always becomes way too serious way too soon. Suddenly, I’d feel that I’d given up far too much of my freedom for the sake of compromise, all in the hope that somehow, a far too serious relationship has a better chance of “working out,” whatever that means. And then comes the rebellion, the bitterness, and the denial.

Following the breakup, I’d go through the typical 1-2 week mourning period, and then, it’s onwards with my life. After a relationship, no matter now serious it was or how long it lasted, I will inevitably remember everything that went wrong far before I recall all the happy times we had. No matter how much I loved during, I can’t help feeling anything but annoyance afterwards. When I claimed to have cared so much for a person, after all is said and done, I’m left with nothing but this horrible aftertaste and the lingering question, “what did I ever see in him?”